


Velvet Goldmine

by the_dala



Series: The Man Who Fell to Earth [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Morning After, Relationship Negotiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 12:11:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_dala/pseuds/the_dala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“I want you to know that you can talk about it, if you want,” he continued, rubbing his fingertips between Finn’s knuckles.</i><br/><i>Finn’s expression softened. “I know,” he said, stepping around to nudge up close to Poe, sliding an arm around his waist. “I talk to the doc about it sometimes, and Rey. But it’s a little different with you, since you’re the one I actually want to do stuff with.”</i><br/><i>“Stuff?” Poe repeated with a smile. “Can you be a little more specific about said stuff?”</i><br/><i>“Shut up,” Finn replied, rolling his eyes and kissing him soundly, which was more effective than Poe was willing to admit.</i><br/> <br/>Finn and Poe negotiate the next step in their relationship. (Hint: it's doin' it.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Velvet Goldmine

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: this fic contains an oblique reference to sexual abuse, though not in relation to any named characters. I do not consider it appropriate for an archive warning, but wanted to mention it nonetheless.
> 
> So I've been listening to a lot of David Bowie since his passing, and decided that a lot of his songs serve as excellent Stormpilot inspiration. This will be a series of linked fics around that theme (I have seven planned).
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr as [the-dala](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/the-dala).

The first time Poe broached the subject of stormtroopers and sex education, they were in the same spot where Finn had spent the first two weeks of his life with the Resistance. Or down the hall from it, really; Finn had a late shift and Poe was bored, so he was helping inventory medical supplies. He hadn’t planned the question at all, just blurted it out, and regretted it as soon as he saw Finn’s posture stiffen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean -”

“No, it’s okay that you asked,” Finn said, turning around with a smile that was clearly meant to reassure him, though it was tight with strain. “It’s just...I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”

Poe was a little surprised at how steady his voice was. On reflection, maybe he shouldn’t have been; Finn hadn’t shown any hesitation about ending their kisses when he wanted them to end. Poe had been following his lead in this, just as he had from the beginning (“when you still had your head stuck up your own ass” was Snap’s delicate way of putting it). And okay, maybe he _had_ been a bit more cautious than necessary, but it wasn’t only due to his concern for Finn’s comfort level. Truth was, Poe was out of his depth with this kid, and he wasn’t about to fuck it all up by making a wrong call.

“That’s totally fine,” he said, putting his stack of bandages down - he’d lost count and would have to start over anyway - and reaching across the cart. Finn met him halfway, his hand clasping Poe's. “I don’t want to put any kind of pressure on you. Things have been good just the way they are - _really_ good,” he added, thinking of that morning when Finn had tugged him behind a corner of the hangar before a training session. He could still feel the scrape of the stone wall at his back and the scrape of Finn’s teeth at his neck, the pressure of Finn’s hands on his hips, taste mint tea and honeyfruit from breakfast on Finn’s lips…

He cleared his throat, shaking himself out of it like he’d tried to do this morning with questionable success. He’d wandered off to start pre-flight checks on the training fighters, his hair sticking up every which way, and Jess had snickered at his dazed face. Not unlike the way Finn was smirking at him now, actually.

“But I want you to know that you can talk about it, if you want,” he continued, rubbing his fingertips between Finn’s knuckles.

Finn’s expression softened. “I know,” he said, stepping around to nudge up close to Poe, sliding an arm around his waist. “I talk to the doc about it sometimes, and Rey. But it’s a little different with you, since you’re the one I actually want to _do_ stuff with.”

“Stuff?” Poe repeated with a smile. “Can you be a little more specific about said stuff?”

“Shut up,” Finn replied, rolling his eyes and kissing him soundly, which was more effective than Poe was willing to admit.

It was a week or so later when Finn brought it up again. They were in Poe’s room, Finn stretched out on the bed reading with Poe propped against him, going over schematics for a couple of new freighters the Resistance had acquired. Finn’s light grip pulled him back down when he started to rise.

“No, it’s easier if you’re not looking at me,” Finn said, putting the data pad down. He tucked his chin over Poe’s shoulder, anchoring him in place.

Poe subsided, wondering if this was why he’d turned the overhead lights off, leaving only the warm, dim glow of the lamp on the nightstand. After spending his early life in sterile shipboard corridors with their constant fluorescent glow, Finn was turning out to be a big fan of natural light and anything that approximated it.

“We learned about the - the basic mechanics.” His voice was a rumble at Poe’s back and it sounded like was searching for words. “Anatomy and whatnot. But it was drilled into us from early on that those feelings were a sign of weakness. Succumbing to pain would make us weak, and so would...seeking pleasure, even on your own.” He snorted, his thumb rubbing absent patterns on Poe’s ribcage. “Guys used to brag about how long they could go without.” 

“But you did…” He wasn’t sure if he should go with a metaphorical or clinical description, and settled somewhere in between. “Touch yourself?”

Finn sighed. “Masturbation was considered a necessary evil to be performed only when absolutely unavoidable, and then as quickly, efficiently, and with as little mess as possible.” He was definitely quoting from something now. Poe imagined a roomful of teenagers with pamphlets on Order-approved techniques for jerking off, and squirmed a bit in sympathy.

“Some troopers did manage brief, fumbling encounters from time to time, but privacy was hard to come by and if they were caught there were...consequences.” Finn turned his nose into Poe’s hair and answered the unspoken question. “I never considered it worth the risk, personally.”

That was more or less what Poe had suspected, and he supposed it could have been worse. But the idea of Finn growing up to think of intimacy as some kind of moral failing, suppressing his perfectly normal emotions and urges in order to conform to that image of the ideal soldier…

He covered Finn’s arm with his own. Finn curved closer about him, breathing against the back of his neck, voice dropping even lower.

“Sometimes an officer would take an interest in the cadets.” A shudder ran through Poe at this and Finn quickly said, “It never happened to me, or to anyone in my squad.” There was a dark cast to his tone, as if he still felt protective over his former comrades - the same ones who called him traitor now.

“But we heard about others, sometimes. The officers were punished when they were caught,” he added, as if that made it in any way better. Poe imagined it was just one of the many justifications he’d had to make to himself over the years. Not for the first time, he considered the sheer unlikelihood that Finn had gotten out of there with his innate strength of character intact. Not undamaged, maybe, but Poe had been fighting this war for a long time; he was no stranger to damage. His fever-dreams of cold fingers picking through his mind were testament to that.

He shifted slowly on the mattress, giving Finn room for redirection. But Finn only looked at him with bleakness in his eyes.

“I know it was all wrong,” he said hoarsely, searching Poe’s face with a hint of anxiety. If he was looking for judgement, he was never going to find it. “I know that now. But that doesn’t make it easy to let go.”

“Of course it doesn’t,” Poe said, planting a kiss on the tension point at the hinge of his jaw. “But you’ll get there, and when you’re ready you let me know, all right?”

Finn nodded, his pulse jumping under Poe’s lips. “Would it be okay if I slept here tonight? Just - just sleeping.”

In answer Poe sat up to pull the covers back, retrieving his extra pillow from where it had tumbled to the floor. Finn reached for him once he settled back down, then paused.

“I don’t know what to do with my limbs,” he admitted sheepishly.

Poe let out a chuckle, turning so that Finn could stretch out against his back. “I can’t promise I’ll always claim little spoon, but this seemed to be working pretty well.” Finn, naturally, was puzzled by the terminology, and Poe nodded off somewhere in the middle of demonstrating several common options for bed-sharing positions.

They got a few more sleepovers in before the sex thing came up again (quite literally, in the form of Finn's erection pressing into Poe’s thigh).

Finn pulled back to look him in the eye, even as his hips were canting forward and back, his knee seeking purchase between Poe’s legs.

“I want to - to be with you,” he said, halting but firm. Poe’s gaze was drawn to the bob of his throat as he swallowed, to the sweat gathered in the hollow beneath it. “To touch you. And for you to touch me.”

It was hardly the most romantic proposition Poe had ever fielded, but damned if his blood didn’t quicken at the sound of Finn asking for what he wanted.

“Are you sure?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Finn replied with feeling, launching an attack on Poe’s mouth that he managed to sustain while they struggled out of constrictive layers. When they were both down to just the one, Poe stopped to trace the rise of his hipbones and glanced up at him.

Finn got this very determined look on his face. Poe bit down on his own lip, determined not to laugh no matter how adorable it was.

“Underwear off,” he declared with a sharp nod. Poe kissed the furrow between his brows and nearly pulled a muscle shucking his boxers.

He was glad he’d left the lamp burning because Finn spent a good minute and a half just looking, his eyes roaming up and down Poe’s body. Probably not the first naked man he’d ever seen given that he’d lived in dorms all his life, but the first who very clearly wanted him. Poe stretched an arm over the pillow, waiting for him to adjust.

“Poe,” Finn said in a voice thick with longing, reaching out without actually making contact. Poe took pity and pulled him close. Finn let out a ragged exhale as his cock lined up more or less with Poe’s own. He buried his face in Poe’s neck, clutched at his hips, and Poe didn’t have time for much more than a twitch before Finn was coming all over his belly.

He was breathing so quick and hard that it almost sounded like fear. Poe held him, soothing him through the aftershocks, his release sticky between them.

“I’m sorry,” he burst out wildly. “That wasn’t right -”

“Finn, buddy, it’s okay,” Poe said, wiping them clean with his shirt. It was no wonder he’d flown apart at the slightest contact, if orgasms had always been treated as something shameful to be hidden and gotten over with as quickly as possible. Poe wished very badly that a commanding officer would pop up so he could break his hand on their faceplate.

Finn’s shaking was gradually decreasing, although he still looked distressed. “I wanted you to feel good, too.”

“We’ve got all night,” Poe assured him with a smile, ignoring his own arousal to take Finn’s face in his hands. Finn licked at his lips, tongue sweeping into his mouth to kiss him so deeply it made him dizzy. That, at least, was something at which they’d accumulated plenty of practice.

With the edge taken off they were free to keep kissing and touching and exploring, Finn growing bolder by the moment. He kept mostly quiet, which again made sense given his history. Though Poe was accustomed to vocal partners and didn’t mind putting in a bit of a performance himself, he found that he enjoyed this too. Finn would answer with a nod or a soft kiss when asked if he liked this, if that felt good; and Poe was incredibly gratified by the small sounds he did manage to surprise out of him, a gasp or a whimper or the occasional moan muffled against Poe’s skin. 

He uttered a distinctive noise of protest when Poe pulled away to rummage in his tiny nightstand. 

“Just a sec,” Poe said, shooting a grin over his shoulder. He was willing to bet that the Order didn’t hand out lube along with rations of soap and toothpaste.

Finn’s frown vanished as soon as Poe’s slick fingers closed around his cock. His mouth fell open, his eyes squeezed shut, and his muscles seized up in an involuntary spasm. Poe kissed his eyelids and stroked him, his senses flooded with the taste of Finn’s mouth and the scent at his hairline and the soft hot skin beneath his fingertips. He was long years past his own first time, but experiencing this with Finn was affecting him in ways he hadn’t anticipated.

“Poe, can I…?”

He rightly interpreted Poe’s muttered curse as permission, reaching for his cock. Poe bit down on a wince - Finn’s palm was dry and he was painfully sensitive by now. He wrapped his hand around them both, his grip sliding easily. Finn covered Poe’s fingers with his own, getting a feel for the rhythm, his eyes avid with attention.

They fell together that second time, or close enough - Poe came a few moments before Finn did, and he thought it was the sudden rush of warmth that pushed him over the edge. Whether it was the delay or the way Finn curled into his chest, tense and trusting, Poe didn’t know; but white-hot suns burst behind his eyes and he damn near lost consciousness.

When he could make his brain work again, he discovered that Finn pretty much had passed out on him, his hand still cupped loosely over Poe’s softening dick. He stirred when Poe dug up the long-suffering t-shirt.

“I can do that,” he said, blinking fuzzily up at him.

This was one more thing no one had ever done for him and Poe wasn’t about to relinquish it. “I got it,” he said, swiping a dry part of the shirt over his skin. He tossed it into the corner, silently thanking it for its service, and leaned over to switch off the lamp. Finn flopped bonelessly back against the pillows, throwing an arm and a leg over Poe.

His room lacked a window (a flaw he intended to remedy if he and Finn got to the point of bunking together, and he liked his odds after tonight) but there were enough electronic devices scattered about to provide a bit of light in the darkness. It reminded Poe of the glow from Rey’s lightsaber. He watched Finn’s face under the faint blue, feeling his lungs contract. Most people looked younger when they slept; Finn looked like the man he might have been if the Order hadn’t stolen him away from a home he couldn’t remember. Though of course Poe’s chances of meeting that man would have been greatly diminished, the galaxy being as wide as it was.

“I think I would’ve found you anyway,” he whispered, brushing his knuckles over Finn’s cheekbone. “Somehow, I would have found you.”

He spared a thought before he dropped off to will dreams away, and apparently it worked, because they both slept peacefully for a couple of hours. Peacefully, at least, until Poe was awakened by the hopeful nudge of an erection against his ass.

“What have I done?” he groaned, rolling Finn over to the wall.

Finn beamed up at him. “I can’t be sure, actually. Maybe you should do it again.”

This time he abandoned Finn’s mouth, full and tempting though it was, to range kisses down his neck and chest and stomach. He came to a halt over Finn’s navel, dipping his tongue into it before casting his eyes up.

“I’d like to put my mouth on you - to suck you,” he said, because being honest had been working for them so far. “But only if you want it.”

Finn stared at him with wide, dark eyes. It was obviously not a foreign concept, though he looked apprehensive. Poe was just about to rise up on his knees and say never mind, it was enough for tonight, he was satisfied with what they’d been doing - incredibly, ridiculously satisfied, in fact - when Finn’s chin lifted.

“Yeah, I want it,” he said, swallowing hard.

Poe could feel the corner of his lips turning up as surely as he felt himself start to harden again. Which, he thought, was a pretty respectable turnaround for thirty-two.

Holding Finn’s gaze, Poe bent over his lap, pressing a wet kiss to the head of his cock. Finn hissed out through his teeth. It was louder than most of the noises he’d made earlier, and Poe decided he wanted to hear it again and again.

He licked his lips before sliding them down Finn’s shaft, relishing the taste and the heat - it had been too long since he’d done this. Finn’s hips jerked a little but he was too polite, too accustomed to restraint. His hands flailed before fisting in the sheets. Poe pulled back to suck at the swollen head while he pried Finn’s fingers loose and up, squeezing them briefly before letting go to put his dexterity to better use, one hand twisting in concert with his mouth and the other between his own legs.

Finn got the idea and buried his fingers in Poe’s hair, kneading more than tugging, which was exactly how he liked it. He hummed in approval and a low, needy sound escaped Finn’s clamped lips.

“Poe - oh, fuck,” he hissed, already starting to pant, his hips rising and falling against the bed.

It would’ve been nice to take a little more time, Poe thought, but oh well. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard, drawing an actual cry from Finn as he came.

He was still gloating over that when he crawled back up the bed. Finn seemed entranced by his lips now that he’d found out what use Poe could put them to. He swiped a thumb across the corner of his mouth, then leaned in to taste himself on Poe’s tongue. It was the kiss as much as his hand that brought Poe off.

They lay tangled together after, spent and sated (at least, Poe hoped, for a few hours). A glance at the wall chrono revealed that he didn’t even have that much time; it was getting on toward dawn, even if they couldn’t see the sky, and he had an early gunnery exercise with the old guard.

“It’s weird,” Finn said suddenly, “but I feel like I get it now.”

Any resentment Poe might’ve felt was banished by his quiet, sleepy voice. He stroked Finn’s back, down the ridge of scar tissue. “Hmm?”

“Why this wasn’t allowed. Not just sex, but being close to another person like this, the way it feels…” He spread his palm on Poe’s chest, over his heart. “There’s a kind of power in it. And power is dangerous.”

Poe made another mm-hmm noise, because frankly he was too worn out to come up with a suitable insight. Finn didn’t seem to mind, though; he burrowed closer into Poe’s side and was asleep before the next minute ticked over. Poe leveled a glare at the display before he followed suit, knowing it was going to go off far too soon and that his team was never going to let him live this down.

He was late, of course, guilt gnawing at him all the way to the hangar bay. It was Finn’s first morning after, after all, and he’d spoiled it by sneaking out at the crack of dawn (this would be the last time he let Jess schedule anything). He made it through the exercise by the skin of his teeth, eternally grateful that none of the eager new trainees had dragged themselves out this early to observe.

Honestly, it was a miracle he only missed two shots in two hours. He kept getting bombarded with random flashes of Finn’s face and voice and touch, and that was very distracting even for the best pilot in the Resistance.

Snap and Jess were both standing by his T-70 when he clambered down the ladder, feeling like he was sleepwalking. They looked irritatingly chipper, though at least they had scared everyone else off.

“You look like hell, Dameron,” Snap boomed, clapping him on the shoulder with a strength that Poe was in no mood to endure. “But I’m guessing it’s a happy hell, if such a thing exists.”

Poe dragged his hand through his hair, wishing BB-8 would appear with a cup of hot caf, but it had rolled off to greet Rey before her morning training session. Although, speaking of caf, maybe he and Finn ought to avoid the canteen entirely this morning. “Wexley, if you say one word to him -”

“He won’t,” Jess cut in. She leaned back against the wing, hands tucked into her pockets, regarding him with a smile that was only marginally insouciant. “Tell Finn I said good morning, would you?”

All he wanted was to collapse on the bed and sleep until noon. Or maybe a shower first, he considered after raising his arm. But sonic only, because it was quicker.

He’d figured Finn would head off to his own room, since he had a shift that morning. But when Poe staggered through the door Finn was standing there in his discarded pants, looking like he’d just rousted himself from the bed (which he had already made up neater than Poe ever did, because he was Finn). His face broke into a smile, a little shy but open.

“I thought you worked at ten,” Poe said, only then realizing he’d matched Finn with his own grin.

“Eleven,” Finn corrected, curling his bare toes into the rug. “I thought we could get breakfast, if -”

He wasn’t able to finish because Poe had thrown himself across the room and was kissing the rest of his breath away.

“I need to shower,” Finn said, shoving at his shoulder, although it wasn’t a very convincing protest when he was still smiling like the sunrise. “Though not as badly as you do,” he added, raising an eyebrow at Poe’s flightsuit.

Poe snagged his wrist and backed up towards the door. “Lucky for you I’ve got access to the command staff baths. Two whisper birds, one stone?”

“Why would you only have one stone for two birds? And why would you want to hit a bird with a stone, anyway?” Finn wanted to know.

Rather than explain the nuances of Outer Rim metaphors, Poe tossed his helmet down and pulled him into another kiss.


End file.
